Japanese 2nd weddings

In Japan, people often have a couple of wedding ceremonies. The first is the actual ceremony, which involves time at the temple possibly tied in with a showy western-style wedding. (from all that i have heard, it generally is required that EACH of the guest gives an obligatory gift of $2-300). Last friday, I went to a 2nd wedding...which is the party thrown after the wedding, for the bride and grooms friends. Essentially, it is a massive piss-up. Kiwi-boy's teacher friend just got married and invited us to his 2nd wedding party. We show up at this amazing (i.e. Vegas style) chapel, in the hills overlooking the Inland sea. The view was spectacular, the setting complete over-done cheese. The Bride and Groom were dressed in Furry costumes (the groom was a monkey, the bride a Panda) which set the tone for the rest of the night. It was pretty laid-back and chill (albeit, the men were all in Tuxes and the women in relative-formal wear....except for a few people who showed up wearing jeans...I had a hard time getting a grasp on what the dress code would be for this event....so I wore a black 40s dress..which seemed to be okay.)
Anyhow, the evening cost us $45 a piece. I guess, the whole thing with these events, is that everyone splits the cost of the party...but if one considers the fact that $45 bought all you can eat and drink, it wasn't so bad...For entertainment there was karoke (why do the Japanese insist on always having karoke at every event?), Bingo, and a super drunk guy, who first introduced himself to kiwi-boy and myself with his pants fully unbuttoned and his hands down his pants....I didn't want to think about it too much...but I think he may have been attempting to tuck in his shirt....He soon joined our table, and after spilling 3 drinks, asking me twice to please kiss him, he finally puked...giving Kiwi-boy and I the perfect opportunity to say our congrats to the bride and groom...take a few photos in the furry heads...and move on to the rest of our night.

Tomorrow...I am hosting a porn and pocky stick party...should be a blast...I'll keep ya posted.

Skiing in Nagano

Went up to Nagano for the weekend (about 9 hours drive North…3 hours from Tokyo). I grew up in Wisconsin, so as much as I constantly complain about hating the cold, I am pretty familiar with mounds of snow and ridiculously high snow drifts. I was not prepared for snow drifts that were 3 meters high, some of which covered the houses’ 2nd stories. The snow was so high, that the streetlights were covered, and the locals carved holes in the snowbanks, for candles…creating luminaries to guide tourists to their hotels. The ski conditions were pretty good…although the slopes were not very challenging. Overall, I had a great weekend away with 2 days of skiing, onsening, and lots of excellent food. However, I realized that no matter how long I stay away from Wisconsin, I will never be nostalgic of those ridiculously cold winters, or of all that snow.

Bringing Shame to the Family Name

Yeah, I know I suck…Last week, I participated in a wasabi eating contest. I was pretty convinced that I could win the contest, proving once and for all I do possess amazing digestive properties when it comes to certain horseradishes. The contest was pretty straightforward. Each contestant (there were 3 of us, me (the American), a Canadian, and a Japanese guy) was given a soupspoon full of straight Wasabi (the creamy pre-processed kind from the tube.) We were given 2 minutes to eat and digest it, with no liquid aids. Then we were given another spoonful. This continued until one of us cried for “mercy”. Which in all honesty, should have been the Japanese guy, because after 2 spoonfuls, he turned a pasty shade of white, his eyes turned red and glassy, and he looked awful…Damn that Japanese pride…cuz, he kept going for more. After 4 spoonfuls, I knew I could only do one more…or I might puke, and the Canadian had a look of placid enjoyment on his face. I decided, to martyr myself for the Japanese guy (who at 4 spoonfuls, had visible sweats and shakes…he looked like a food poisoning victim.) Call me a bleeding heart or just a plain sucker. But after 4 heaping spoonfuls of wasabi, I called it quits…bringing shame to my own family (Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t win this one for you.) The Japanese guy, immediately bowed out…Leaving the Canadian to take victory.

As a side note: After eating all of that wasabi, I managed to not get too sick, just a slight chest pain for about 2 hours. Proving to myself, once and for all that my digestive system is actually quite stellar. Next up: a contest for who can eat the spiciest curry…

Seoul, Korea and Osaka

Went to Seoul for the weekend. That’s probably one of my favorite things about living over here. I can do a 3 day trip to a whole different country, and it isn’t particularly expensive. Since this was my second trip to Seoul, I kind of knew what I was getting myself into. However, I was not prepared for how cold the weather would be. I’m thinking it was below freezing…maybe even colder. I had on so many layers of clothing, I felt like the Sta-puff marshmallow man. It was a bit ridiculous. But other than the cold, the trip was excellent. We went to the demilitarized zone (DMZ) and checked out one of the freaky tunnels the North Koreans dug, as a means to invade South Korea. Talk about a freaky place…you could still see the marks left by the dynamite. And the fact that 10,000 North Koreans could get thru and invade Seoul in about an hour, actually nauseated me. We also hit a ton of Markets, Lotte World (although we didn’t actually go in). Pizza Hut (which is notable only in the fact that they do not exist in Japan…and the pizzas were virtually normal…no corn and shrimp pizza to be found on the menus) A drum show (which was really cool…a bit like Stomp, but with lasers and more kitsch), and the Imperial Palace. Amazingly, other than the markets, it was all new stuff for me,

The funniest stuff that happened to us included having a taxi driver dropping us off at the police station, because he was frustrated and couldn’t find our hotel (basically, he just stopped the car, opened the door, and didn’t say anything…after about 5 minutes, we figured it out). The police officers were as perplexed as the taxi driver…but they were a bit more patient and kind, and actually personally took us to a taxi stand, then made sure the taxi driver understood where to take us.

We also had a bit of a run in with a giant plate of Raw beef. It was minced and flavored with bulgogi sauce…and we were really excited about trying Korean bbq. So we ordered the most expensive thing on the menu (hoping it would be beef and not dog) and proceeded to completely horrify the resturant owners, by insisting they cook the meet. After going back and forth for about 5 minutes, the cooks finally relented and cooked it at our table. The other patrons couldn’t help but laugh and stare at our crazy foreign antics…luckily, all of us are used to this treatment in Japan…so it wasn’t too bothersome, and in the end…it was the best beef I’ve had in ages!!!

After 3 days in Seoul, we spent a day in Osaka, which was nice…(they have Subway Sandwich there!!) of course we didn’t get our sleeping accomadations figured out…so we had a few mishaps (got kicked out of a love hotel…they refused to let 4 people sleep in one room for the night…you would think and establishment such as a love hotel, would not be wierded out by 4 people sharing a room). Then we wandered around for a bit, and met Woodie from South Africa (I like to think of him as the patron saint of travelers in Osaka) he totally helped us find a place to sleep for the night. We wandered for ages, but it all worked out great in the end. As we found a sauna to spend the night at.

Sauna’s are a bit strange. Essentially, they are safe places for Women (or Men) to gather and spend the night. Upon arrival, you are given a locker key, which has a set of towels and a bathrobe in it. Then you are free to either clean up in one of the public baths, watch TV in a room full of reclining chairs (and a wall of 8 tvs…each playing a different show…the chairs, have individual speakers inside the headrests, so you can choose which TV you want to listen to.) eat dinner, get a massage, drink at the bar, or karaoke. Overall it's a great deal (only about $20-30), only problem is…you have to get out of the sauna by 9 am…at 7.30 am, the staff switches on the lights and starts yelling at people to get moving in Japanese. It is quite the rude awakening.

Valentine’s Day in Japan

Valentine’s day has always been one of my most favorite holidays of the year. Never because I had an amazing boyfriend to share it with, but because I really like the idea of a holiday that celebrates Love, Like, and Lust…contrary to popular belief I really do have a heart. Normally, I love to make hundreds of Valentines and pass them out to all of my friends and acquaintances…I mean, I really believe that everybody should get a valentine. Well Valentine’s Day is slightly different in Japan. Here, the women give chocolate to all of the men in their lives (i.e. co-workers) this is called giri chocoleto, which basically means obligatory chocolate. For the really special man in a girl’s life, chocolates are to be melted into different shapes (hearts and bears are popular), wrapped in pink boxes, and given to the beloved. Men usually don’t do anything for the women….although on March 14th (White day), guys are suppose to reciprocate the valentine chocolates given by the girls.

I actually had a really great Valentine’s day. Not only did I get some great cards in the mail, but some of my fellow teachers got me Valentine’s chocolate boxes (chocolate covered mochi…my new favorite), a bunch of my students made me delicious cookies, and my new boyfriend (Kiwi-boy) sent me the most beautiful bouquet of tulips and got me the Tintin swatch of my dreams. How lucky am I? The teachers at my school still can’t get over the fact that a boy actually sent me flowers on Valentine’s day….that is so unheard of in Japan. I just laughed and explained that on my side of the planet, its pretty common.

PB and J

For Valentine's Day I taught my 5th graders how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I used a heart shaped cookie cutter to give it a more festive feeling...but overall it was the standard PB and J...which strangely, the kids had never tried before. They thought it was the bees knees...but the reason, I am writing about this now...is the absurd fact that the Japanese cannot pronounce Peanut...so whenever I heard them talking about it they always called it a "penis butter and Jerry" sandwich. Believe me I tried to correct them...but to no avail...so forevermore in my mind, at least...PB and J will refer to a penis butter and jerry sandwich....yummy!!!

tricks to eating school lunch

I have learned recently, that the key to making school lunch more bearable is to hide a small bottle of tabasco sauce up your sleeve. That way, you can open it under the table, drop it from the bottle in a covert fashion, and not get in trouble for bringing in condiments to make your food better. (the getting in trouble part, comes from the belief system that everyone must be equal, and therefore, if one person brings in a condiment, all must share. I say, screw that...we are all equal, everyone has relatively similar brain power and shopping abilities...therefore EVERYONE has the opportunity to consider that Tabasco would make most things taste better...and EVERYONE can think ahead and bring in their own bottle.)

There you go...my plug for why Tabasco should be served at all Japanese school for lunch.

What is the singular form of NOSE?

I was chatting with one of my English teachers the other day...preparing for a class of 1st graders. This teacher is really great, and usually right on top of things. But today...well, i don't really know what was going on. So we were going over the lesson which was teaching body parts to the kids. At the end of the class, before each kid leaves the room, I always ask them a question to see if they understood the day's lesson. For my Wednesday lesson, I was to ask if the kids could touch their eyes, nose, mouth, ears, etc. Well, I guess the kids get really confused when I say things like eyes vs eye...since they don't know the plural versions of things. I was asked not to say the plural of anything (like eyes or ears) when talking to the kids. Well, that isn't too difficult so I quickly agreed. Then the teacher said, "well we have another little problem...what is the singular of nose?" I was like, "umm...nose." And she was like, "Yeah...nose....like hana." and I say again, "nose is the singular of nose." This got her really confused, because she kept saying no that means there are two of them....what would only one be?" I explained that "2 = noses, 1 = nose". She still wasn't getting it, because she was putting up a big argument that I was wrong. I just stood there thinking..."what on earth is this woman on? What could the singular form of nose possibly be other than nose? I mean no or se doesn't quite cut it..." This conversation went on for over 5 minutes before I figured out that she was talking about nostrils when she was referring to the nose....and that when people usually refer to them, they are in the plural...and really, she just wanted to know what the word for 1 nostril was. So there you have it...yet another ridiculous conversation in my world.

friggin freezing

February 1st...one would think it would be the beginning of spring...I mean, flowers have begun to bloom...there are buds on the trees, today i saw a robin. it also snowed for the first time today. From all that i can gather, February is always the coldest month of winter in Japan. And I know I have complained before about how ridiculously cold it is here....but I have just learned that everything I thought i knew to be frigging cold was a lie.....the truth (which hit me today) is far more painful and emotionally scarring. Today, I wore 3 (1,2,3) pairs of pants to school...along with 2 sweaters, a long underwear shirt, a t-shirt, and a tanktop....I finally broke out my brothers old university ski team jacket and even that was barely warm enough. I have reached a new low on the temperature scale, and I am so not pleased. Pray for March people!!! I can't help but imagine myself to be like one of those old people who doesn't use their heat, and dies of hypothermia in their apartment, with their fish, who is frozen in its bowl. Except that I do use my heat....but it doesn't matter...there is no insulation and the heat just whips right through the walls and windows.

That's it...I'm escaping to Thailand first chance I get!!!

PS. I am typing this from underneath 9 blankets in bed...the warmest place in the apartment.