random stuff i found on the web

As, I prepare for my successor to take over for me...(I just recently learned her identity, and I am pretty excited, as it means that I will soon be on my big summer vacation and far from Japanese cops) I was searching various sites from my town for things to tell her...and check out what I found:

http://www.niji.or.jp/school/nio-tyu/syokuin/syokuin.html

this is a picture guide to all of the Jr. HS teachers that i work with. I am not sure if I like the part where i am the only person who is really smiling in the guide, or the fact that I am positioned right next to the principal and vice-principal (what does that mean?)

Also, randomly, if you are interested you can check out this other site put out by my elementary school: this cracks me up because they put my powerpoint presentation that I used for my self-introduction on the web.

http://www.town.nio.kagawa.jp/niosyo/eigo/Lani.html

is this possible?...more trouble with the police

It's official...I am a police magnet. I cannot go anywhere, with anyone without getting attention from the police....So Saturday night, I am with my PARENTS...my parents of all people...they are conservative grown ups, incredibly innocent and harmless looking. Anyhow, we were shopping and we wander out to the parking lot to find my parents' rental car (granted it had military plates on it, but it was totally legit) completely parked in by 2 police cars. And the cops were standing outside, teeth sucking, staring perplexedly at our car. The craziest part of this, was that one of the cars was the standard car...the other car was the big police van...you know, the one they use for the BIG crimes. So my mom starts saying things like, "oh god, someone must have hit our car." My dad is grumbling, "Oh no, what's this?" and I am thinking, "oh god, not this again." So one of the officer's comes up to us and asks us who's car is it (by the way, i am not sure if it's my tutoring or all of the time spent with cops, that I totally knew how to deal with them...and somehow, I managed to do all the translating.) Then the cops ask to see the car's insurance policy. It was pretty clear that they couldn't understand how the car's license plate could possibly be legit...but after 20 minutes of hemming and hawing, (and me mentally cursing these people, because I was starving...and had only a small piece of stinky cheese to eat...which actually, I did eat right in front of them, and continuously breathed out thru my mouth as I spoke to them.) they finally relented...and said we were "okay-des'...then with out any apologies or thank you for our time, they left. My dad meanwhile telling them, that they need to apologize, for wasting so much of our time....

I think that when I am all done and have managed to safely leave the country, I might actually send a letter to the national papers, with an itemized billing for all of my time the local police have managed to waste over the past year.

Another random day

Okay, so I am in class, not actually teaching...more like acting as a human sticker dispenser...my latest occupation. As I wander the room, i begin to read some of the paragraphs my 8th graders have written, I can't help but laugh when I read this one....

"This is my pencil. My father gave it to me. It is long. It is hard. I use it everyday. i like it very much."

When I finished the kid smiled at me with a look of pride in his eyes, and i told him the only thing I could think of at that moment. "Kid, your father is probably very very proud of you."

Then the bell rang...I went to lunch only to find that they were serving Mouldy Lima beans today....what the heck? Can you actually eat mouldy beans...are they healthy for you? I am not just talking flecks of mold, that the cook may have missed...I am talking gray/fuzzy/bad smelling beans....it was wierd...it was gross...and all i could think of was my mother saying to me, "Lani if everyone jumps off a bridge, would you jump off the bridge?" The answer to that is...yes, yes I would...cuz i plugged my nose and ate those suckers....and as of now 20 minutes later, I am still standing. But I will keep you posted.

THe new and improved way to keep busy at the junior high school

I have taken up weeding. I know, that sounds ridiculous. But after weeks and weeks, of finding it impossible to keep my eyes open, due to the boredom of my job. I have decided that finding a way to sit outside in the sun, is the answer to all my struggles. I am not sure if they will let me wear my i-pod yet, but it almost doesn't matter. I might actually be finding the zen-ness of weeding, so it isn't so bad.

I took this up a few days ago, during a cleaning period, where I found I was tired of sweeping (the job I had been assigned to way back in August) tired of scrubbing the floors , (the alternate job that I assigned myself, after I became disenchanted with sweeping) and decided to join some of the students on the lawn (they were hand picking the leaves off the ground.....has anyone in this country heard of a rake?) So now I am in the weeding crowd...and other than the wierd bugs one often sees, it isn't so bad. Clean air, sunshine, physical excercise...I guess that is why i took it up to pass the time between classes. I now don't have to hang out in the teachers' lounge (even though I do enjoy reading, the atmosphere is a total buzzkill). And that is something very happy.

Seeing my friends

Seeing my friends

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been lucky enough to have been visited by 3 of my LA friends. Man oh man, do I miss those guys. It was so great to catch up with everyone and feel like a normal human being. Nothing against my friends here...they are all awesome, but sometimes it is just really nice to hang out with people who know a bit of your history. This way, you don't have to explain things like your humor, or apologize for your sarcasm. Anyhow, my time spent in Osaka and Kyoto with my friends was great...just really short-lived.

And my friend P also managed to come out to my little hamlet and check out the sights. Not that there is much to see in good ol' Shikoku. We did manage to spend a lot of time on trains, ferrys, walking, eating, and sleeping...turns out that other than the big famous shrine (konpirasan in Kotohira) and the monkey park (in Shodoshima) there really isnt much for people to do in good ol Kagawa (my prefecture). I think that he was most impressed by how hungry our Koi are (we spent hours feeding them) how freaky our monkeys are, and how quiet my town is (everything is quiet as of 8 pm...except the racists who patrol the streets looking for gaijin to yell at).

Even though it was a rather quiet visit, it was an awesome break in the monotony for me. (Yeah, I know, I have given my town such stellar reviews...I don't understand why more of you don't come to visit?)

the troops are restless today

The troops are restless today.

Today I was teaching at the elementary school. For the most part it is my favorite place to teach. The kids are fun and crazy, the teachers are really kind and interested. But there must have been something in the morning miso soup. Because of the 5 classes I taught today (grades 1,3,and 5) there was only one class that went completely perfectly. In every other class I had kids completely melting down and crying. It was nuts, I didn't even do anything. In the case of one kid, I just asked him, "how are you?" and he went nuts. I even had 2 boys in the 5th grade, who didn't win a little competition I was hosting, cry for at least 20 minutes...the kids were inconsolable.

And if crying weren't enough, add to that the kids who had complete postal melt downs. Okay, one kid didn't actually meltdown, he was just misbehaving...he was a first grader, who thought it would be funny, if he responded to everything I said with a Knee Slap (no not a joke, an actual slap of his knee.) The one kid (a 3rd grader) who did manage to go postal, actually snapped. I was playing Janken with him (you know, rock, paper, scissors) he lost. He snapped. First he walked over to the corner where there was a broom stick and threw it on the ground...I don't think anybody actually thought anything of it, when he did that. Then he kind of curled up a little bit, while standing. So i go over to him and pick up the broom stick. I'm like, we can do a rematch....and he grabs the broom from me and starts swinging it around. He went completely nuts.....had the other 3rd graders completely freaked out. And he wouldnt put down the broom. Finally, his teacher grabs a hold of him and sits down with him...meanwhile, i am trying to carry on class like nothing is happening, even though we all know the kid is a bit dangerous. The kid sits down, but continues to swing his broomstick...after about 10minutes (and a lot of weak attempts to ignore him...per the teacher's request) The teacher finally got the stick away from him, and everything returned to normal. I kind of got the feeling that this might be a normal occurance with the kid, cuz nobody seemed very shocked, just a little frightened that he would actually hit somebody.

After today, I am so happy it is Friday...bring on the margaritas...i think I deserve them tonight!!!!

Health Day

As I wander up to class today, one of my English teachers begins to chat with me. He explains to me that today is health day, and all the teachers (with the exception of me) have to participate in a health exam (basically a physical). So, each teacher takes a 2 hour block to go over to the elementary school and see a doctor. I didn't think that was too wierd, in fact I was kind of thinking about how nice it all seemed - totally convient and all. But then the teacher told me the strangest thing ever, "I am concerned for my health, during class I might have to run out of the room for a bit. Could you please take over?" I was like, "what?" And he explained to me that part of the procedure involved, patients taking laxatives. So for the rest of the day, all of my teachers will be running back and forth to the loo.

What kind of system is this? Why would they include laxatives in the physical? Why would they require the teachers to take the laxatives? What? What? What?

I am just glad I will not be participating in this.

ignorance...

Just as I was composing an entry about my search for random Fanta flavors in my town, while taking pictures with my new Holga cam....(this composing was being done in my head as I took a late night stroll with kiwi-boy). My thoughts get interrupted when a black SUV (lis 68-09) slows down, the passenger hangs themself outside the window and starts screaming at us "FUCK YOU GAIJIN!" over and over again. My first response, when the car slowed down was to run...then when they started yelling, I was so close to hitting the ground. I seriously thought the passenger had climbed out the window to shoot us. I know, its Japan...RURAL Japan...and guns are pretty much a none issue here. But I am not from Japan...in fact I am from a place, where you could get shot...and if an SUV slows down, while you are walking down a dark street...you better god damn well, run....And if someone starts yelling racial slurs at you...then you better hide behind a car, because who knows what that jackass will do next?

But back to the issue at hand....I am in JAPAN....ignorant, rural, middle of nowhere Japan. And no, this is not the first time I have been sworn at, called names, and whatever else because I am a foreigner. This just happens to be the first time that it was so violently done....and to make matters worse...the car came back for more...3xs in fact. It just kept driving in circles like it was taunting us...I felt like it was a giant cat, and we were its Mouse-dinner. I wanted to call the police to have them escort us home...it was that bad (let's face it, I would pretty much do everything in my power to NEVER have to see the police in this country again.)

In the end, I got their license number...big deal...its not like anything will happen to them. We only have a volunteer police force in this town. So then i thought about writing a letter to the newspaper....but these people are ignorant, so how do i know they will read it? Then i thought about the fact that it is a small town and they could easily get back and me...its not like i'm living in a gated community or anything.

At the end of the day, I hate the fact that these people have done something so immature and ignorant, but have still managed to win...because here I sit...Angry...Vengeful....but a tiny bit scared about what the reprecussions of my actions towards them will be. I think in the end, i will play this up like a Japanese person. I think I will write a passive agressive letter to the editor of the town and State papers, explaining about how this hurt my feelings. THen do a short diatribe about how ignorance in general hurts.....cheesy and "after-school special-ish" I know....but I think it may be my only recourse.

Zorbing

About a week ago, Kiwi-boy, R, and I headed out to Tokoshima to try our luck at Zorbing...basically, you get inside a giant inflated ball and roll down the hill. Its the same concept as a hamster running around in a ball, but cruising at an uncontrolled speed down a verticle incline. Okay, so there are 2 options, wet or dry...dry means you get strapped into a harness within the ball (it also means the ride is a bit more rough, since the ball tends to bounce its way down the hill.) Wet, means that there is no harness, but you sit inside the ball with a few buckets of warm water, so as the ball rolls down the hill you get sloshed around with it.

We all opted for wet...and it turns out, that the whole zorbing experience is actually what I would imagine hanging out in a womb to be like. Its wet, slippery, warm, kind of comfy, definatly soft. And as I rolled down the hill at a completely uncontrolled speed, splishing and splashing, basically water sliding within an enclosed, spherical surface...I started to wonder if this is what it felt like to be born. And if this is what birth is like...well hey, that's pretty awesome...well, except for the whole, emerging into the air and freezing your buns off...I totally get why baby's cry when they are born....its really cold outside the womb.

Alright enough of this nonsense....I highly suggest you go out and experience it for yourselves..

Rumble at the Elementary school

I had it in my head that I would from this point forward only write about the happy, quirky, wierd stuff that grabs my attention. But, alas, I had one of those days that makes me wonder,"what the heck is going on with the youth of today?" So I am teaching the 6th graders. And we get to the end of the class, and I still have like 8 minutes to kill, so I whip out a book for storytime (yeah, I know, 6th graders are too old for storytime...but sometimes a story is the perfect time killer.) Anyhow, these guys are pretty competent with the English Language (they have had at least 7 years of lessons) but the books that their teachers request I read are for the most part kindergarten reading level. Today's book was by Eric Carle (he's the guy that did The Hungry Caterpillar and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?) and by all means a completely pacifistic book. So I am reading it...acting out the voices...making big gestures (you know, the stuff one does to make sure they are completely understood.) And suddenly I get to the part about the gorilla...something like "I am a gorilla and I thump my chest, can you thump your chest?" So as I beat on my chest, I watch as one of the boys gets super agitated and crawls up behind the new kid (who happens to be Okinawin...so I feel for his pain, since it seems this town doesn't really like my people, the Okinawins...but that's another rant) and starts kicking the boy with all of his might. The aggressor I might add is about 2 times the size of his prey. I stop reading and was like, "What the hell is this? Stop it!!!" And the teacher, kind of says (in English, so you know it was "real" effective) "You shouldn't do that." And the bully keeps kicking the kid as hard as he can in the back. Finally the teacher pulled him away, but he went back at least 3 times for more. I felt so bad, for the kid who was getting beaten up....cuz, you could tell he was really hurting and trying not to show it. And since he was right in front of me, I could see him crying, but he kept telling the kids around him that he was okay. So I did the only thing I could do, to draw the attention away from him...I kept reading the book, acting more and more over the top with each page...I have never been so happy for the bell to ring.

I guess the whole reason for the broohaha was that the "victim" had called the bully a gorilla the day before, and hurt the bully's feelings...so my reading of the story had brought up repressed anger on the part of the bully.

Whatever...the victim brought me candy later that day as a thank you for blocking a blow from the bully. (I'm quick, I didn't get hurt...i just pushed the kid out of the way so he wouldn't get hurt either.)