my serenity

Who knew that all it would take to find serenity in a world of chaos was a glue gun. I bought a glue tonight...It's not like its my first glue gun, nor is it a particularly unique glue gun. But, it was the first thing I've bought in this country that made me feel like myself. I mean, I've had all of these projects swimming in my head, but haven't actually been able to find the materials to do the them. Tonight, not only did I find a craft store (which was a nearly impossible feat in this country, as streets are not labeled, and stores are buried in alleyways) but I also found most of the supplies I had been searching for. Now, I can put away the knitting (my god, is my life exciting or what?) and can make all sorts of fabulously glamourous and tacky accessories....I'm all about the rhinestones now.

Oh my goodness...THis is going to be a really long winter!!!!

School

Sometimes, I don't really understand why I have to go to school. Today, for instance, I show up at 8 am-ish (okay it was 8.05 but whatever, I don't actually have any classes until 8.30) only to learn that all of my classes have been cancelled for the day, because my 8th graders have a career day field trip, and my 9th graders are just going over their midterms. So here i am, with nothing to do for 8 hours (except lunch and cleaning times) but read a book (Mark Twain's Conneticut Yankee) find things for my November bulletin board (American Comic Strips...any suggestions?) and continue to study Japanese. I suppose I shouldn't complain, but I have a zillion things I need to do outside of school...Like clean-up my apartment for the dinner party/pumpkin carving party I am having tonight. Sometimes my job feels like a giant waste of time...and all too often I find myself counting the minutes til I have to go home.

sex machines and Tea ceremonies

I am sorry to say that my Saturday was a grandiose bust!! My friend G and I are working on a zine. Should be out in February. Its going pretty well, we have stirred up quite a bit of interest from some amazing writers and photographers. So on the talent front we are doing great. Of course, Saturday we were out in Sakaide working on a story idea. The article is suppose to be about the wierd and wonderful stuff of Japan. And we had heard about the Soy Sauce Museum of art in Sakaide. So the two of us decided to make a day out of it and hit a couple of birds with one stone. G. was stoked to hear that Sakaide is also home of a series of Sex Vending Machines (mainly pornos, but a couple "used" panty machines). Anyhow, we get there with cameras and notepads (you know sporting the cub reporter look...fedora with pencil sticking out, eager expressions on our faces.) Only to learn that the Soy Sauce Museum of Art has been temporarily uprooted and moved to Tokyo. And worse (well at least in G.'s mind) the Sex Machines have been Giuliani-ized...Sakaide is like Time Square (you know if T.S. were small, rural, depressing and in Japan.)
Well, hopefully our other features don't have so much trouble getting researched...and at the very least we have fodder from the letter from the editor.

Moving on...Sunday, I attended my first "official" tea ceremony. It was a special Autumn Tea Ceremony that was held at the castle in Takamatsu. It wasn't so bad. Actually, I found it quite interesting, very beautiful and ritualized. It was a bit uncomfortable though, as I was there with a few other foreigners from my program...we had been invited as special guests...aka the "foreign factor". This is something that I have gotten used to during my 3 months in Japan. Every once in awhile, I will be invited to be a special guest at an event, merely because I am a foreigner and whomever is inviting me wants the opportunity to put me on display and show the world that they have foreign friends. In the case of the tea ceremony, me and 13 of my friends were placed front and center in a room of about 75 people. We were given special seating to make allowances for the paparazzi that followed us around that day. Everytime one of my friends took a drink or a bite of food, there would be a blinding wall of flashes from the 10 cameras that were positioned in front of us. Sometimes, I feel a bit like an alien in a cage at a special showing. Of course, I do consider myself quite lucky...for the most part that is...Since I look asian (although before coming here, i never really thought that I did) I am often a disappointment when people who've never met me invite me out for the "foreign factor'. When they see me, they usually are quick to cover up their shock that I am part Okinawin. It seems I do not look foreign enough for the people of Japan. Therefore, the way I am treated in public situations is very different from my very "western" looking friends and predecessor.

Killer fruit and typhoons

Yesterday was another Typhoon...i of course rode my bike in it to get to school...but this time I had a helmet, so my head was protected from flying debris and such. This typhoon was pretty bad, I mean they actually sent the teachers home early....which is amazing, and unheard of. Its pretty funny though, because the reason the teachers were getting sent home was because the neighboring areas (where many of the teachers live) were being evacuated. And the teachers being "typical" Japanese, didn't want to leave work...which I thought was strange, considering their families were in the houses that were being evacuated or flooded (as a couple of cases proved to be). No, they would all rather hang out at school and work, and set out pails everywhere (the school is like a sieve...so not leak-proof). Man when they said go home...I was like C-ya!!! And other than the scary weather...I was so happy to be home early. I even got to chat with a bunch of my friends on line. It was WONDERFUL!!

Switching gears (albeit ungracefully..) a couple of days ago one of my elementary students went into the mountains and hunted and gathered some mountain food, and gave it to me as a present in class. I was totally stoked about it all. I mean there were wild chestnuts (which are super tasty, but covered in prickly thorns...kind of like Thistle) and Akebi. I have never had Akebi before...it is purple-ish red and looks a bit like the prickly pear fruit of the cactus...without the prickles. Anyhow, the teachers explained to me (keep in mind I'm doing my best to translate the japanese to english in my head) that i could eat the Akebi raw. All I need to do is slice it in half and scoop out the seeds. Now here is where the translating got a bit shady...I wasn't sure if I was suppose to eat only the seeds...or if those were bad and I was suppose to throw those out. My feeling when hearing the directions was that the seeds were the only part to eat. So I go home, slice into the Akebi, find a milky substance with black seeds. I took a huge spoonful of it and ate it...It tasted fine...kind of sweet and sugary...so I took another scoop and ate that...Suddenly my throat started to burn...and instantly got kind of raw and scratchy...it was like the worst sensation ever. I didn't know if I had just poisoned myself or if i was having an allergic reaction. And knowing that a japanese doctor visit would be really "fun"...i decided to do what i normally do...Self-medicate!! So I got online and started searching frantically for any and all info on Akebi...Basically, all the info is either in Japanese, or a poor translation of japanese to english...There was no actual mention of the edible-ness of the fruit, just where i could find them in the wild. So I solved the problem by drinking mass quantities of water, hoping to flush it out....

THe next morning I asked my english teacher about this mysterious, possible deadly fruit....she explained to me that the fruit isn't in season now...so its possible i got a fruit that isn't quite ripe. And if the seeds aren't clear...then they are incredibly bitter and not actually edible....

Great...now I have to worry about my students trying to kill me!! okay...i'm only kidding...but YIKES!!!

rambling

Things have been getting better. I mean I am still not quite in the Pollyanna mind frame...but i am doing better. My program is finally getting involved with the car accident. Since technically I have been hired by the Japanese government, they did a bit of investigating. Turns out that it is unlikely that I will have to spend time in Jail. That was totally a scare tactic on the part of the police. I will still probably have to pay a steep fine...but I probably won't actually have to go to court. Of course none of this will be totally finished for months...but right now, things are looking up. Knock on wood they stay that way.

Its so amazing to me how difficult this place is for me. I've lived alone in other countries before, and never encountered as many problems as I have in the past 3 months here. I know that 90% of all difficulties have to do with the HUGE communication gap. I think that my time here has definatly taught me patience...and maybe how to deal gracefully with things. Believe me, every day is frustrating...I mean I really don't understand 75% of the things that are said to me on a daily basis. And the actions and ways of people are so different from what I am used to. Everything is handled passive-agressively. Nothing is ever actually said. If I do something wrong, I am never told what i did wrong...I am just told I can't do something anymore. It is so difficult to be patient and not go off in a tirade of words, when the whats, whys, and hows aren't properly addressed.

And Japanese style means never losing your cool...never showing any sort of true emotion. Smiling is considered a weakness. Crying is not only a weakness, is makes you a point of pity. Shouting is unacceptable. Sometimes when I am really frustrated with the way I am being treated, I go into my new found "robot" personality...where everything is numb and blank. I may trully need therapy when I leave this place.

more car accident BS (I know its over a month later).

I had to go to the police station today, with my Japanese/English translator and my friend G. who was in the accident with me. The accident happened on Sept. 11 (well over a month ago). First we had to return to the "scene" of the accident so that I could tell the cops exactly where I hit the car, where i started to brake, where i turned on my turn signal...I was like, you have to be kidding me...I have to do WHAT?? Its a month after the fact...why wouldn't you take my statement when it happened? When i was trying to give it to you. This has got to be the biggest joke ever...Haven't they seen the cops shows...the evidence is gone...skid marks and glass have been washed away in a couple of typhoons...and you want me to tell you what I remember happened...Oy Vey!!! So after an hour of taking pictures of chalkmarks on the cement and guestimations of where i might have made impact, where i might have braked, where i might of thought about turning....I get taken back to the police station where a 2.5 hour interrogation begins. The questions were ridiculous...what was the name of your elementary school? Your high school? your college? When did you graduate college? What is your father's name? How old is he? What does he do for a living? How much money do you make? How much property do you own? I felt like i was in red china...What does any of this have to do with the accident? Then they asked G the same questions.

Then when all was said and done, i had to sign a form saying that I will try to be a better driver and please be kind in your consideration of my case...this was going to the district prosecuter. Now, I have to appear before a judge sometime in the next 3 months, to find out if there will be any kind of sentencing or fines (the policeman said I shouldn't worry too much....the fine will probably not be more than $1000 and as an American he sincerely doubts that I will have any jail time...but he didn't want to commit to that.)...So my year abroad in Japan, thus far has included typhoons, cockroaches, and a minor fender bender which may land me in jail...Oh good I love it here!!!

On another note my supervisor pulled out the forms for my contract renewal...he was like...why don't we fill this out now..i mean, you are RENEWING right?? It took everything in my being not to laugh like a maniac in his face, and take a sharpie and put a big fat X on the NO WAY IN HELL am I staying longer than a year box... (okay that's an exageration, they don't have a box like that...but they should.)

And yes...I know..this too shall pass...and I will go back to having fun...but man oh man, you know you are having a low day when you actually pull out the calendar to count how many more days till you will be home in LA...284...

4th Graders are all a bunch of Narcs...

Ugh...Lunch!! I think it is my arch-nemisis. Everyday there is a new battle...The best days are edible, but usually brimming over with carbs...For instance, meat spaghetti (usually with peas), a giant hoagie roll, and a side of rice...pretty overwhelming, but definatly edible. 70% of the days bring fish...the other 30% are fatty pork, chicken, or beef(?). I know, I bitch about this all the time...i can't help it and its my blog, so i can write about whatever is on my mind.
Today was a giant bowl of rice and chestnuts, bland soup with tofu and fish cake, cabbage with tiny fish and vinegar, and a fish (minus head, but with tail and skin). Somehow, i managed to eat everything (okay not the fish tail and the bones), except the whole bowl of rice...I mean come on, you can only eat so much rice....So I go to hide the bowl at the bottom of the pile of bowls (after squashing the rice remains to make them as tiny as possible)...one of the kids catches me doing this and YELLS..."Sensei...Lani sensei isn't eating her food!!!" Okay it was in Japanese, but that is pretty much the translation of it...so alas i get busted...but guess what...There is not way I am going to force myself to eat this shit....so basically the other teacher shows me a place where i can take my food to throw it out whenever I don't feel like eating everything..which is great...but I can't believe that kid...What's the big deal?? What on earth does he gain by narc-ing me out?? Grrrrrr...I'm rolling my eyes.

Today was just one of those days...I spent 65% of it doped up on cold/sinus meds...trying not to fall asleep in my classes...then I get a flat on my bike...I've never had a flat tire on a bike....it makes a really strange sound when you try to ride on it. Then I came home and made myself dinner in the "microwave oven" ... which I'd like to state for the record is not really a microwave...its more like a toaster oven with a lot of extra features. Anyhow, i'm making quesadilla's an the thing starts SHOOTING out sparks...So I decided to forget about dinner, and just go to bed, start my day fresh tomorrow....hopefully there won't be any bad foods, flat tires, or electrical fires. I do however have a visit to the police station to look forward to...as my accident from over a month ago, is still not over...I must meet up with the victim tomorrow, and put on a good face....

Allergies

I am sick...well not legitimately sick...i mean i don't have a fever, therefore according to the Japanese School board, I am not really sick...and I must continue to work. I know that it is a combination of Allergies and Sinus trouble...yet I continue to gripe...I can't help it...my nose is running, my head hurts, I have a soar throat...Enough already, I know!!!

The worst part about having a cold/allergies in Japan...the inability to blow your nose. Ridiculous I know...but I've been told that it is considered rude to blow your nose in public in Japan...they would prefer that you sniffle....I don't do sniffling...I think that is repulsive...or worse...wiping your runny nose on your sleeve...disgusting. So i spent most of my day at school today, running back and forth to the bathroom where I would lock myself in a stall and freely blow my nose. All i can think of is boy oh boy do I have a long winter ahead of me.

So I'm at lunch...(today's menu: milk, apple slice, bean soup, texas toast-size slice of bread, and wierd salad: broccoli, pineapple, cabbage, cheese) and I manage to eat everything, because it wasn't horrible today....but when i get to the apple slice, the kid next to me stops me and informs me that I am not eating my lunch in the proper order. I have to finish all of my milk BEFORE i can start on my apple slice. I'm looking at him like he has a 3rd eye or something, because I often eat apples WITH my milk...and its never been an issue before. But then I start to look around me and realize the only people eating their apples are finished with their milk...All I could think was...What kind of wierd ass protocol is this? I mean come on...its just an apple slice...why do i have to finish my milk before i can eat it.

By the way, I did the right thing...I finished my milk then ate the apple...I figure its best not to start anything over something so trivial...considering I regularly hide food in my napkin and later dispose of it in the trash...best not to draw too much attention to my eating habits.

a weekend of images

I really enjoy photography and usually bring my camera along wherever i go. But this weekend, I wasn't really up for living life behind the viewfinder. So as Murphy's law would have it, I missed out on some fantastic shots...so here is a recap of the best and worst photographic moments of the last 4 days....all of which you will have to imagine in your head, as there is no evidence.

1) Friday afternoon at school: the "shi-shi mai" dance...which is 2 people under a rug with a dog mask attached to the front of the rug, dancing as if they were the dog. Meanwhile 4 people (2 kids, 2 adults) beat on taiko drums. This was so cool. Actually there were three different performances with three different groups on Friday. Turns out the dance groups go door to door at various schools/businesses/residences over the 3 day weekend and dance for donations...more money for their organization...which I hear means a vacation or some other such thing for the group. When I get back home, I totally need to start a shi-shi mai dance troupe...maybe i can get people to pay for my next vacation.

2) Saturday Afternoon, the "running of the chosas": My town's autumn fest was this weekend...which is when the farmers celebrate the year's harvest. The chosas are portable shrines...carried on giant logs by the men of the various neighborhoods. Since my town is super small, there are only 3 chosas. I guess the town's autumn fest is the equivalent of our homecoming....because all the people who have moved away from town come back to participate in this festival. Basically, the men carry these shrine things, someone beats a drum, and the men sing a song while running around as a group carrying the heavy shrine...I mean we are talking 40-50 guys carrying the shrine...en masse...it is utter chaos..and the fact that no one is hurt, and the shrines aren't accidentally dropped is a complete miracle in my opinion.

3) Sunday Afternoon, out with my friend T, walking a deserted beach searching for seaglass and terracotta beads. Sometimes I really miss my jewelry business, but this year is proving to be a great opportunity to experiment with all sorts of new mediums...especially found objects from the beaches.

4) Sunday Afternoon, on top Shinduyama watching a storm rolling in: Shinduyama is one of the bigger mountains in the area, and from the top one can see for miles...on a clear day, all the way to Kyushu. Sunday was not one of those clear days. The tail of a typhoon was sitting offshore just waiting to pounce. T and I watched as dark clouds (what i imagine clouds of locusts to look like) came rolling from the sea, slowing as they approached us, then rising up to go over the mountain. The whole thing was very beautiful and totally surreal. I mean we could have been trapped in a horror movie and the clouds would be the invisible source sucking souls out of everyone it passed...essentially that is what it looked like. It was amazing.

5) Sunday Afternoon, coming down from Shinduyama: Going back to the horror movie theme...well, hiking up the mountain wasn't too bad...I mean no rain...going back down was a different story...the mountain had gotten completely covered in clouds, and we were walking thru a dense fog, one which you could not see more than 10 feet in front of you. Now couple that bit of absurdity with an overabundance of spiders...I mean the movie Arachnaphobia had nothing on this mountaintop...Luckily it seems there is an unfortunate park employee that must have to go thru all the trails early in the morning and clear them of spiders...as all of the webs and massive spiders could be seen on the side of the paths, and there were no direct run-ins. Overall, it was hideous.

6) Monday morning, driving thru my town with my parents: One fantastic reminder that Japan has rednecks too. So we are stuck at a stoplight and I am admiring a little garden off the side of the road. You know standard garden, some flowers, some lettuce, vegetables of some sort. All of the sudden I realize that the poles that have been placed in the garden for the purpose of a scarecrow are actually "real" dead crows...I was like...Oh MY GOD!! there are dead crows (huge ones I might add) hanging upside down in that vegetable garden...What the fuck??? And how did they die?? I mean, guns are illegal in Japan...and there isn't any hunting, because Japan is a series of islands, and pretty much everything huntable is dead...including the crows. So how wierd and creepy are those crows? I'm so going back and getting a photo...maybe it can be my halloween card for next year.

school lunch menu

A lot of people have been asking me about Japanese food. I think what they are really asking is, what's up with that school lunch thing? Because all of the other meals I do, are just matters of my picking out the food i like best (usually from the grocery store its salad, camembert cheese (this is one of the only edible cheeses in japan) pasta and if it is affordable fruit). If I go to a resturant, I usually eat Yakisoba (fried noodles), Tempura, or sashimi/sushi. If all else fails I eat a lot of rice.

School Lunch...I am required to eat it, and have absolutely no choice in what I will be eating. Here is today's menu: Half a banana, sesame chicken (which wasn't bad), carrot bread (which was bread with carrot bits that had been soaked in honey or something and tasted like those gummy fruits found in fruitcake.), a bowl of egg-drop/tofu soup (pretty bland, but edible), salad (which was pickles, apples, small fish...with eyes...and chopped pears), and finally whole milk (everyday you get a small bottle of whole milk...complete with paper cap and a ring of cream on top, just like old-fashioned days.)

Kind of makes me miss the DW free lunch and the college cafeteria...I never thought I'd miss those!!!

PS. short comment on the cost of fruit in Japan...I saw a small bunch of grapes yesterday that cost approximately $21. Generally apples cost about $2 each and watermelon can be as cheap as $10-$40 when they are in season. I think everyone must eat canned fruits and vegetables in this country.

Lloyd

As I was walking to my apartment door this evening, I stopped and had a little conversation with my buddy Lloyd...Who's lloyd you ask...well he is the proof that I might just be certifiably insane. Midway thru my short conversation of, "hey man, how's it going?" I realize...I am having a conversation with my buddy the praying mantis...He's been hanging outside of my apartment for about a week and a half now...and i find myself looking for him everyday...you know, just to make sure he hasn't been squashed or anything. I worry about the little guy...but he's pretty stubborn and for some reason won't go back to the ground floor...I think he likes the fact that on the higher floors of the apartment, he is protected from the elements...i.e. typhoons (btw there is another one coming on friday or saturday.) See here we go again...I have just wrote a paragraph about a bug. Do you see my problem....i think I might really be going nuts. I've Disneyfied a bug...oy-vey!!

Another random fact about Japanese students: after school they are REQUIRED to go straight home. They are not allowed to stop at the local convience store to get a drink or candy, they must go straight home. Once they have gone home and changed out of their uniform, then they can go to the convience store...I learned this, because the Gym teacher gave a rather forceful lecture during lunch today about student behavior. And that was point number 1. Point number 2 was about how they had found cigarette butts outside the gym and figured some of the kids had started smoking...of course, they have never seen the kids smoking there, and they lock up the area every day after school. But the gym is often used at night by the ADULTS in the community for various sport activities. I mean not to point out the obvious to the teachers...but why does it have to be the STUDENTS who are smoking? I mean, if you were a student and wanted to be all badass and smoke...why would you go back to school after school hours, sneak over the fence and smoke? That's too much hassle...I would of smoked behind the church or somewhere slightly more discreet...why not behind the grocery store or better yet the Convience store??

I saw the movie Big Trouble in Little China tonight....I don't remember ever watching it before. It was fantastic....the epitomy of cheesy action movie from the 80s...if you haven't seen it...watch it with a couple cans of beer. Oh and I saw the movie at my friend A's house, with a couple other westerners...(I had to add that, so people wouldn't be too worried about me and Lloyd)

occupational charades

Taught at the elementary school today. I think they finally figured out that I'm trully not a qualified teacher...I mean, I'm here to be a teaching assistant, not a teacher. I have not taken any classes on teaching, I have no teaching experience or background...I'm just here to speak English. See the thing is, they had me teaching a 5th grade class. Which actually wasn't that hard...however there is the obvious language barrier between me and the students and me and the teachers...I'd say something and get blank stares. I'd come up with a creative idea, and nobody would understand it. I pretty much broke stuff down to the most basic of English, and still no one understood me. I kept telling the teacher, "I'm sorry, I'm trying to learn Japanese, but I wasn't required to know Japanese to do this job." So after about a month of this ridiculous-ness...the teachers realized that the students weren't really getting anything out of the class (duh) and so they decided to combine the 2 5th grade classes, so that the main English teacher will be available to teach. Of course now the classroom size has doubled, and there are almost 70 kids in the class...and that is pretty ridiculous in and of itself...but I am no longer beating my head against the wall because I am feeling like a failure as a teacher.

So I was teaching the 4th graders Occupation vocabulary...you know: teacher, doctor, fisherman,farmer, nurse, pilot...etc etc....And the "fun" game for the day was charades...act out an occupation, the students guess it...rock and roll. Most of the charades were pretty self explanatory and boring...Singer: stand on stage and pretend to sing, etc. But I did notice a common theme in the acting of the kids...whenever one of them acting out Police, they would mimic eating a bowl of udon, put down the bowl and arrest someone (this was done 3 times)...which led me to believe that udon is equal to american donuts where cops are concerned. 2) when acting out farmer they consistantly pretended to have back pain and often fell over backwards from the weight of the axe thing they were using...(i don't pretend to know anything about farming). 3) most disturbingly of all was when the students pretended to be teachers...usually, there was mimicing of hitting, slapping, or beating of another student. I was a little appalled by this, mainly because everyone thought it was funny. And I started watching my classes a little closer and realized the homeroom teachers really don't have a problem being "rough" with the kids. I mean they don't punch the kids or anything, but most of the stuff they do would be considered misconduct in the US.

I don't know about this place...its all pretty wierd.

My car accident saga continues...in 2 weeks I have to go to the police station and meet with the man I hit, to file a police report...I guess this is standard...although why they wouldn't take a statement from me when it happend is beyond my comprehension. Say a little prayer for me that this is the end of the accident situation...I'd like to put it far behind me...and I'm a bit over the whole "beating a dead horse thing"....