hanging with the police...again

I got a call at the elementary school today. It seems the police are fed up with my nonsense...(you know the, "yeah, yeah, yeah I will come in to the station soon and fill out a report on the accident." but then I never show up because I don't actually want to voluntarily spend time with the police, since they have managed to make my life absolutely miserable, every chance they have had.)

So they cornered me...called me at work, and said at 2.30 you will be at the post office where you got into an accident (to them it wasn't important that I had a class...they felt their issue was of greater importance than my work in shaping the minds of tomorrow's youths...whatever.) So I go, with one of my English teachers (albeit, practically kicking and screaming the entire way.)

We meet the policeman, who wants to know my side of the story...the wheres, the whens, the hows, the where did I break...etc. It was like deja vu from my last accident. (how could I possibly know the answers to those questions..its been over 2 months now.) Then the police began to do some crazy math equations to figure out if I had been speeding, or if the light was about to change....(okay here's the thing, the transmission on my car was shot...so i had trouble going over 20ks when the car wasnt warmed up...which it wasn't. And because it was shot, I was always keeping an eye on the light ahead of me, making mental wagers as to whether I could make the light or not...therefore, I knew for sure, 100%, that i was not speeding....and that the light had been green for quite sometime.) The math equations got me scared that he was going to wrongly accuse me of something...but in the end, he said that the man admitted that he was "100% at fault" and that I was the "victim."

And then he asked the golden question. "when could I come to the station and fill out a report."

I said, "ummm yeah, I need to call my translator and find out when he is free."

Policeman: it will only take 10 minutes

(Yeah, where have I heard that one before.)

Me: really? 10 minutes? For sure? So after 10 minutes I am free to leave.

Policeman: No, when we are done you can leave...but it won't take more than 10 minutes.

Me: Okay, I'll be by sometime in the next few weeks.

Policeman: (teeth sucking)...mmmmmm....how about right now?

English teacher: You are sure it will only take 10 minutes?

Policeman: Yes, from this moment only 10 minutes.

-50 minutes later-

Policeman: Okay you are innocent in this. The man is wrong. What should his punishment be?

Me: Why is it my choice?

Policeman: It isn't but we have to ask what you, the victim think, for the judge.

Me: He had to pay a fine already, he seems like a nice person. I don't want to press any charges.

Policeman: Okay then we are done. Please sign your name here (in block letters) and fingerprint here.

Me: I have a hanko, I will use that.

Policeman: You are a gaijin, your hanko is not real.

Me: Where I come from, only criminals have to be fingerprinted. Either you take my Hanko or you get nothing.

Policeman: I cannot accept you hanko, it is not real.

Me: Well, its recognized by the town office as being real (i have an official document), it is recognized by my bank as being real, and by a couple of other police stations as being real. Either you accept it, or you get nothing.

Policeman: Oh I am sorry, I didn't know that other people accepted it. Fine, stamp here.

-Exactly 1 hour later- my saga comes to an end...