They decapitated my Santa.....

Every month I have to do an "english" bulletin board. Since this is one of my few creative tasks, I generally tend to go all out for it. Usually my boards are like huge installation pieces with a tiny bit of English thrown in, just for show...this month it is lyrics to christmas carols...including Grandma Got run over by a reindeer....which i personally think is in league with all the classics...Frosty, Rudolph, silver bells, that Mariah Carey song....but i've digressed. Anyhow, the carols were the background for a life-sized santa holding a "naughty and nice" list and large 3-D x-mas Lights. It was pretty nuts, and kind of sacreligious, since I took a Santa costume, stuffed it, then nailed it to the wall....yeah, I thought it was pretty funny that it looked like Santa had been run over by a reindeer then stuck up on a wall like a trophy....but none of the teachers really understood my dark, cynical, "american" humor....so whatever...

Anyhow, I came into school today, and noticed that Santa was missing his head....It was kind of creepy...but really all I was thinking was, "dude, I am so not making another Santa head...that sucker is going to remain on the wall headless, cuz I am over this art project". Of course, this being Japan, my thoughts should have been, "oh no, my day is now going to suck!!" because when I walked into the teachers lounge, everyone was avoiding eye contact. Nobody would look at me...there was a palatable feeling of shame and the paranoia began. I tried to figure out what horrible blunder I had managed to make over the past 4 days, since I had last been to this school. I remembered that the principal had invited me to his house for an oyster cook-out and I had declined, citing other plans....I began to wonder if maybe I had been seen out on the town cajoling with friends...so i started to make up excuses in my head as I wandered down to the lunch room. There I ran into my English teacher, who was also avoiding eye contact. So now, I am thinking something is really wrong...like I've done something serious...of course at the same time I am also thinking, maybe its bad enough that they will kill my contract and send me home.....(by this time I had had enough of the paranoia and wierd shame vibe). So finally, my English teacher gathers her courage and announces to me that she has some horrible news ... 6 boys decapitated my santa last week....(duh? how could i have missed it? Its the first thing you see when you walk in the school.) And after lunch they will have to face me and apologize.

Okay, so that is where the giggling started...it was totally a reaction to an absurd situation...but unfortunatly (and much to my fellow teachers annoyance) it didn't stop until the last kid had finished apologizing. Let me just say, that I have no idea what they said...I understood Santa-san and that was about it.....I still laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing was..I mean, they each faced me individually, bowed a lot, and muttered a whole lot of stuff I couldn't understand. Meanwhile, the teachers all stood around with their hands on their hips looking really pissed off and horrified that I was not doing a great job of stifling my giggles. But really, isn't it wierd that this is a cause for group shame...but when the boys drew the pictures of me, that was completely ignored and forgotten?

By the way, as punishment I told the boys they each had to make Santa a new head and hat....maybe I can use the extra heads for next months bulletin board.